Motherhood

Being a mother is most definitely MORE than a full-time job. A full-time job requires one to work a schedule similar to 8 hours a day, 40 days a week. I spend my ENTIRE day being a mom. From cleaning, to cooking, to feeding, burping, consoling, and changing a baby, my work never ends. Thankfully, I've had my most amazing husband home with me for the past 10 days, and I'll have him home with me for 2 more days before he goes back to work. I don't know what I'll do when he leaves us those 4 long days out of the week.

James Noah Johnson was born Friday, January 13, 2012 at 4:24 PM. He was 6 lbs, 15 oz., and 19 3/4" long. He has a head full of dark hair, and beautiful baby blue eyes. It's not hard to look at him and tell that he looks like his father. I only see myself in him when he makes certain facial expressions (like when he's crying). Other people see that they can see me in him too, but I just don't see it right now. Maybe as he gets older I'll start to see more of myself, but I hope for the most part that he remains similar to his daddy.

At my last doctor's appointment on January 12, I was told that I had the option to induce early due to severe pain in my hips and pelvic area. Dustin and I hadn't planned on inducing until January 18 (2 days before Noah's due date), but I thought that the pain was so bad that I was ready to have Noah here with us. So I called Dustin at work around 3:00 to ask him what he wanted to do. He seemed nervous, but he agreed that we should go ahead and induce early. I didn't realize at that time that my doctor wanted to begin my induction 3 hours later, at 6 PM. Dustin had to leave work early to get home in time for us to get ready to go to the hospital.

At first, I was extremely excited and ready to see my baby boy. But then reality began to set in, and I began to regret opting to be induced early. To me, that meant that Dustin and I wouldn't have any more time together for a REALLY long time (and by "time together" I mean date nights, going shopping together, or just leaving the house to grab a bite to eat, etc). I guess that's just the baby blues talking, as I cry when I think about it. But then, I thought about how being induced early meant that Dustin would be with us for 12 whole days rather than only 6, and that made me really happy. Plus, I could not wait to meet my son, the little baby who had been living inside of me for 39 weeks.

My entire labor process took about 21 hours. Once I arrived at the hospital at 6 PM, it took about an hour and a half for the nurses to prep me for induction. The first step was to give me a pill to make me dilate, so that they could start the pitocin (induction) drip. They checked on me after 4 hours, and the pill hadn't worked. So they gave me another pill and said that they would be back to check on me in another 4 hours. I was having contractions, but they weren't bad enough to need any medication until about 1 AM, at which time I opted for a shot rather than an epidural (because I wanted to try to give birth without one). When they checked on me again at 4 AM, the second pill had not worked either, so they told me that I would now have to wait to see if there was any change without medication. At about 6 AM, I began to have REALLY bad contractions in the lower right side of my back. The contraction itself lasted about 5 whole minutes, with an intensity which reached the maximum peak of the contraction monitor and stayed there more than 50% of the time. Sadly, I went ahead and opted for the epidural. I'm still proud of myself that I lasted 12 hours without one. After the epidural, the dilation process went by very quickly and smoothly. At about 8 AM the doctor came and broke my water, and after about 9 hours, I had dilated 9 centimeters and was ready to begin pushing. I pushed for about 40 minutes, and little Noah was here! I can honestly say that nothing about the entire labor process was excruciating. It's actually been everything postpartum that has been the most painful. 8 days later, I'm still having some pain.

We had LOTS of visitors at the hospital. I even had friends and family who came BEFORE Noah arrived who stayed with us for a while. Some friends and family came and saw us 2-3 days in a row. It was really nice to see how much love and support we had from those around us.

These past 6 days since being home from the hospital really have been quite the experience. I'm getting used to not sleeping through the night now. If I get 5-6 hours of sleep, then I count my blessings. Dustin and I try to take turns as much as possible getting up with Noah, and I try to let Dustin get out of the house when he feels the need so that he doesn't get baby blues too. My hands are severely chapped from washing them and sanitizing them so much. When I'm not feeding Noah, changing his diaper, changing his clothes, or rocking him to sleep, I have a 1.5 to 2 hour gap to wash bottles, do other household chores, take a shower, use the bathroom, or do whatever else I need to do before he wakes up and we start the process all over again.

I am a paranoid mom at the moment. Every little sound that Noah makes, I want to interpret as a sound indicative of something being wrong with him. I check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he is breathing while he sleeps. I watch people when they hold him to make sure they are holding him properly and aren't kissing him in the face, giving him germs, etc. I look forward to his doctor's appointments because I want to know if he is okay. I hate leaving him in a room alone, and if I do, I have monitors in every other room so that I can hear the faintest wimper if he needs me.

I'm getting used to Noah's schedule and knowing what he needs and when he needs it. I'm not looking forward to him getting sick, because I know that during that time I won't have a clue what to do for him besides console him and try to make him feel better. For now, even though it's very time consuming, it's fairly easy taking care of Noah. But then again, I do have Dustin here with me for the moment, so that makes things exponentially easier. I'm sure next week I won't have any time to update this blog or take a shower for that matter. I'll do what I can to keep everyone updated on my journey through motherhood and Noah's journey through life. Feeding time now, pictures to come.